


Interlude

by friskaz



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-11-13
Updated: 2009-11-13
Packaged: 2017-10-02 15:25:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 923
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7862
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/friskaz/pseuds/friskaz
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Post-ep for 4.22.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Interlude

Sam's hands gripped the steering wheel tightly and he stared grimly at the road, fighting to keep his vision steady. It was harder than it should have been. There was music playing, Dean's music, but all he could hear was Dean's voice calling him a monster, a bloodsucking freak, over and over again on repeat.

It didn't help that they'd had run-ins with vampires in the past, and they'd been full of beheadings. He'd seen Dean behead vampires, and he couldn't help but substitute his own head in his memory, see Dean calling him a bloodsucking freak as the blade swung down, unstoppable.

Sam's chest was so tight he couldn't breathe. His vision was still spotty and his arm ached where Dean had clutched it in an iron grip. His fingers were clenched tight around the Impala's steering wheel. It probably didn't bode well that Dean had let him drive, but he couldn't think clearly enough to know what it meant. He was driving to his own death, and he didn't know how to stop.

In all likelihood they'd been lucky to escape with their lives, but he was having trouble thinking past the bloodsucking freak part to remember exactly what had happened after he'd killed Lilith. Some stuff had happened and then some other things had gone down and here they were, on the road in the middle of who knew where, Dean with his sunglasses on and his head tilted back on the seat, arms crossed over his chest, and Sam couldn't see his hands to read his tension level and wasn't sure what the set of his mouth meant without his eyes visible.

The Impala shuddered once, twice, and the engine shut off and they were coasting. Sam wrestled the steering wheel and guided the car to a stop on the side of the road. It wasn't a busy stretch and they weren't likely to see anyone else, given that it was three in the morning, and Sam frowned at the car, tried to wrestle his brain back into submission, but it was stuck on 'bloodsucking freak bloodsucking freak bloodsucking freak'.

"You let my baby run out of gas, didn't you," Dean said, making him jump in surprise.

"I thought you were asleep," Sam said.

"So it's okay to run out of gas if I'm asleep and won't notice?"

Sam's mouth tightened but he didn't say anything in return.

Dean sighed and stretched and rubbed the back of his neck, then opened the door and stood up. "C'mon, Sammy, don't be a pussy."

"What are you talking about?" Sam asked.

"We gotta get gas somehow," Dean said. "We better walk for it. How far back was that town?"

"Far."

"How far is the next town?" Dean asked. "Your computer get a signal out here, you could look it up."

"No internet," Sam said. "Not sure if I have my computer, either." Bloodsucking freak. It was nice and dark out here, and far enough from any town that Dean could just grab the ax from the trunk and Sam wouldn't stop him, would let him do it, because he'd been wrong about Ruby and he was dying inside, a monster.

"It's in the truck, idiot," Dean said.

"You just want company now for the gas walk, it's cruel. You should kill me and get it over with," Sam said bitterly, then bit his lip so he wouldn't say anything else. Dean couldn't have planned this, wouldn't have made the car run out of gas; Sam could have fixed it if he'd been paying attention at the last town.

"What the fuck are you talking about?" Dean asked.

"I'm a monster," Sam said, staring at him incredulously. "A bloodsucking freak. You - you know that, you said it."

"If this is about your demon blood hallucinations," Dean started.

"No, on the phone message," Sam said, and now Dean was staring incredulously.

"Maybe you should start over with this story," he said slowly. "Which phone message?"

Sam pulled out his phone and dialed his voicemail, then handed it over to Dean. He listened, his face getting more and more upset, and Sam spun around, unable to watch.

"Fucking angels," Dean said finally. "Assholes wanted the apocalypse to happen, did you know anything about that? Cas didn't know, or didn't agree, or something, but the others, they did."

"What?" Sam asked.

"That's not the message I left," Dean said.

"What?" Sam asked again, staring.

"So what if you're a bloodsucking freak?" Dean asked, and it sounded better, nicer, funnier and kind of horrible at the same time. "Sammy, you're my brother, and I want you to do the right thing, but... I carried you out of a burning house when I was four. I stole presents for you. I drove you to the bus stop for college. I sold my soul for you. A little bit of demon blood ain't got nothing on that."

Sam took a big gulping breath. He could feel something burning at the back of his throat, and his eyes were scratchy, which was the only reason they were starting to water.

"Hey - hey, hey, no, no chick flick moments, remember? You promised," Dean said.

"Sorry," Sam said, rubbing his eyes with the back of his hand and feeling like a little kid again.

"So how about that walk back for gas, huh?"

Sam gulped in air and nodded. With that revelation the night felt different, the solitude less menacing and more comforting. He could do this. He would do this.

**Author's Note:**

> "geographical isolation" for [](http://www.livejournal.com/users/cliche_bingo/profile)[**cliche_bingo**](http://www.livejournal.com/users/cliche_bingo/). Thanks to S for the read-through.


End file.
